Review: 31 Ways to Love & Encourage Him/Her

Happy New Year's Eve, Y'all!

Yesterday, I introduced a new segment called Fit Friday. I really struggled with what I was going to write as I wanted to introduce my new weekly segment but I also wanted to share a review of these two books by Alyssa & Jefferson Bethke. So, I hope you don't mind a bonus section of Fit Friday on a Saturday.

Today's Fit Friday is all about building better relationships. A happy, healthy person has happy, healthy relationships with others. Relationships take work and nurturing. If you wait until a relationship is unhealthy to invest in it, it maybe too late.


31 Ways to Love & Encourage Him
31 Ways to Love & Encourage Her


Alyssa & Jefferson Bethke



A 31 Day Challenge to a More Loving Relationship.



My Review:

I roped Brian into this challenge on Thanksgiving. There is one book for each of us... his is grey and mine is pink. There are thirty-one daily challenges and a journal space to record what you learned about the other during this time. There is also a thirty-second challenge where you make up your own challenges.It is a religious based book but you can easily skip over the "pray for your mate" challenges. There were 3 or 4 of these in the book.

The authors tell you in the forward to make this challenge your own and do it your way. So we did. We  choose not to journal but we did do all of the challenges.  Oh... and we skipped around and picked what we wanted to do each day rather than doing them in order. A lot of the reasons for this was finances.

Many of the challenges were things you should be doing everyday in a relationship. Saying thank you, telling the other person you appreciate them, or fixing them a drink or snack just because. Others were more creative. 

My favorite challenge was the bucket list of 52 dates. Why 52? Because there are 52 weeks in the year (or at least that is why I thought of 52). Brian groaned when I told him what my challenge was but once we got started on it... we had a lot of fun! We actually came up with more than 52. No, we did not simply list out 52 restaurants. We googled and actually thought about it.

Brian and I have a great relationship so we do a lot of these things already but it was a great reminder to be more intentional about them. I can also see this helping couples I know who have been struggling in their relationships. Focusing on the other person rather than what you are not getting is always a great first step.

If you are struggling with saying I love you and looking for ways to show it... this is a great book and I highly recommend it to you!

This book is also great not just for couples but for learning to say "I love you" in your other relationships as well. I used several of these on our children and the results were just as astounding.


I love the idea of the Bucket List and created this worksheet for you to use. This is the one that Brian and I used to make our list. I thought it was perfect for the New Year!

One of the things we thought about was our goal to be healthier. There is a lot of "active dates" on our list and we even came up with the idea of taking a cooking class together. There are so many great things you can do!

I am also planning on giving this same list to my students. It will not be a list of 52 dates but rather 52 things they can do and/or accomplish in 2017. What is 1 thing that you can do each week? Meet a new friend, master the 2's on the multiplication table, baking cookies for Grandma, beat your cousin in a snow mobile race, or talk mom into taking you to WWE? I know my student's will love working on this list with their parents.

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